Sunday, September 15, 2013

I Survived . . .?

Somehow I survived my first block of wards (and my second inpatient block, the first being NICU).  Wards is basically what you would imagine hospital medicine to be like, the kind of thing you see on "House" or whatnot.

The first day I was handed 6 patients I knew nothing about, one of whom was a cluster-fuck of complicated medical problems.  The rarity and severity of her illnesses terrified me.  Within a day or two I was expected to know her inside and out.  I was literally running around the hospital trying to figure my way around and see all my patients before meeting with the rest of the team for rounds.  This was far worse than any experience I had as a med student, because as a med student you're still under the aegis of your resident who protects you - more than I had previously appreciated.  And oh yeah, I had to basically learn an EMR (electronic medical record) and use it by the end of the first day.  Not cool.

I felt so overwhelmed that by the end of the second day I was ready to throw the laptop I was working on out the window and run out of the hospital screaming at the top of my lungs and quit on the spot.  I somehow, not sure how, held it together.  The med students arrived the third day.  I held it together.  For them.  I could not show my weaknesses in front of them - I had to give them the impression that peds was a great field (it still is).  Luckily I had inexplicably hit my stride as well and starting doing alright after that.

Having a med student by my side did wonders for my morale.  I'm not entirely sure why.  I guess I just wanted someone to talk to and bounce diagnostic ideas off of who won't judge me or think I'm an idiot.  Also once I discovered the most efficient path forward for me, nothing stops me.  As a med student I really struggled with finding that path, as it's not a med student's job to be efficient.  On the contrary, med students are supposed to be exceedingly thorough.  My sub-I as a M4 student kicked my ass, but in hindsight I was only able to survive wards now because of that experience.  I dare say I became the most efficient of the 4 interns on during this block.
In other news, guys here kind of suck.

I've been stood up on a couple dates or otherwise had plans change/get delayed.  It's okay if you're going to be 10-15 min late, but 2-3 hours?!  Come on, that's just rude.  Makes me want to give up looking (as if I had the time anyway, ha!).

Been chatting with a few people, hopefully something goes somewhere.