Friday, November 28, 2008

A Breath of Our Inspiration

I didn't have a Thanksgiving post (obviously). I don't know if anyone missed me in my week's absence, somehow I doubt it. First, I'd like to direct people to AJ's and Matt's blogs, to give them words of encouragement and love and all that in this time.

I came across the following poem again, and it was, as a line in there, "A breath of our inspiration." There are powerful words in that poem, words of inspiration and change. That we can all be an agent of change. That we are the shapers of our collective future. I know not everyone's fond of poetry, but it's a good read. Enjoy.
by Arthur O'Shaughnessy (1844 - 1881)

We are the music makers,
And we are the dreamers of dreams,
Wandering by lone sea-breakers,
And sitting by desolate streams; --
World-losers and world-forsakers,
On whom the pale moon gleams:
Yet we are the movers and shakers
Of the world for ever, it seems.

With wonderful deathless ditties
We build up the world's great cities,
And out of a fabulous story
We fashion an empire's glory:
One man with a dream, at pleasure,
Shall go forth and conquer a crown;
And three with a new song's measure
Can trample a kingdom down.

We, in the ages lying,
In the buried past of the earth,
Built Nineveth with our sighing,
And Babel itself in our mirth;
And o'erthrew them with prophesying
To the old of the new world's worth;
For each age is a dream that is dying,
Or one that is coming to birth.

A breath of our inspiration
Is the life of each generation;
A wondrous thing of our dreaming
Unearthly, impossible seeming --
The soldier, the king, and the peasant
Are working together in one,
Till our dream shall become their present,
And their work in the world be done.

They had no vision amazing
Of the goodly house they are raising;
They had no divine foreshadowing
Of the land to which they are going:
But on one man's soul it hath broken,
A light that doth not depart;
And his look, or a word he hath spoken,
Wrought flame in another man's heart.

And therefore to-day is thrilling
With a past day's late fulfilling;
And the multitudes are enlisted
In the faith that their fathers resisted,
And, scorning the dream of to-morrow,
Are bringing to pass, as they may,
In the world, for its joy or its sorrow,
The dream that was scorned yesterday.

But we, with our dreaming and singing,
Ceaseless and sorrowless we!
The glory about us clinging
Of the glorious futures we see,
Our souls with high music ringing:
O men! It must ever be
That we dwell, in our dreaming and singing,
A little apart from ye.

For we are afar with the dawning
And the suns that are not yet high,
And out of the infinite morning
Intrepid you hear us cry --
How, spite of your human scorning,
Once more God's future draws nigh,
And already goes forth the warning
That ye of the past must die.

Great hail! We cry to the comers
From the dazzling unknown shore;
Bring us hither your sun and your summers;
And renew our world as of yore;
You shall teach us your song's new numbers,
And things we dreamed not before:
Yea, in spite of a dreamer who slumbers,
And a singer who sings no more.

Found at this link.

Okay, so I seem to have this ever-growing list of blogs I intend on reading and then linking to my blog. I will work on that . . . once I'm done with my term paper and exams and have nothing to do over Winter Break (in about 3 weeks). I also need to go through all the blogs and sort them out over Winter Break (I have WAY too many links, and they just keep increasing). In the mean time, I'd like to link to these 3 blogs that I managed to catch up on:

Call The Shots
The Covert Homo
This is my life...

So go over and say "Hi," among other nice things. :D

Thursday, November 20, 2008

The Value of Friendship

As James pointed out to me, we bloggers in this circle seem to go through cycles of depression and the like. He may post about it, we'll see. Several bloggers have been feeling down of late, like AJ and Landyn. Others might have "coming out anxiety" like Charlie and E. We should all be good friends and give them lots of love and encouragement, as well as the gall to drag them out of the mire of down-ness.

On the outside I usually try to stay as calm and as stoic as possible, as it helps to quite down my emotions enough to allow me to think (and we all know how I tend to over-think). But unbeknownst to many, I have a tendency to soak up the emotions of others. So I often get happy when others around me are happy, and down when others around me are sad or stressed. Even if my own personal situation doesn't concord with those of others, the emotions of others sometimes take priority over my own. I don't know if this is a good or bad then when the lines between my emotions and the emotions of others become blurred.

A couple days ago I was in the bank depositing a check. As I stood in line my eyes began to tear up for no reason at all. I wasn't personally sad, I didn't keep my eyes open for a really long time, and I don't think it was an allergen in the air. But for some reason my eyes just welled up and although I didn't cry, I sure felt it.

I think it was the "weight of the world" kind of thing. How for a while now I've internalized the emotions infused into the posts of other bloggers, and how I've had to deal with my own things. I won't go into them here as it'd only make me sound emo or something, and I'm totally not an emo kind of guy.

I spent much of the evening bumming around in my apartment - without motivation, without inspiration, without want to do anything. I was just lonely and crawling by. Then I IMed my friend, JW-M. (For those who're new, he's probably my best friend from university here and is currently in China for a year.) He just replied, "Hey, I'm playing Neverwinter Nights (NWN) a bit, it's fun." Then he said something like, "We should make a module together!"

For whatever reason, that seemed to pull me out of my personal little mire of despair. Not sure why and I'm not sure why he has the power to do this. But I love him for it. It's totally trivial, really, designing a game mod together. We've attempted in the past with another game or two, but have never been able to finish. He assured me this would be easier if we made it as simple as possible just to get success. He said I could brainstorm storyplot ideas (he knows how much I like to think and come up with random creative things).

So in the span of 5 minutes, he had given me some kind of strange purpose in my life. I don't know, but it made me pretty happy. And it's utterly silly in retrospect - all this over him saying that we should do something with a game together. But hey, we all need random things to perk us up like that every now and then, no?

Other tidbits of my life in the last couple days:

- Apparently I did much better on my pathophysiology exam than I thought. I got an A+ with the curve.

- My cold is progressing on time. I now have a minor cough and a slightly stuffed nose. Great. Too bad my pharmacist friend told me that every study on cold and cough syrup indicate that they do nothing. Note that for the future.

- I went to go see the CSO concert. I don't think I've ever heard all of Beethoven's monumental Symphony #5 in C minor. It was something else. I may do a post on just how the conductor seemed to weave the individual parts of the music from each of the sections into what we call "music." There was much nostalgia in attending a concert.

- I watched Top Chef tonight (well, last night now) with two friends of mine. Oh how we love food, and thus that show. Her roommate also watched with us and would not stop talking! A part of me wanted to say, "Hey, I love talking to you, really, but I can't hear the TV and the volume's up at a decent decibel." After her roommate went to her room, my friend (in a very quiet hushed voiced) apologized for the loquaciousness of her roommate.

- My brother's birthday is today. I'm going to skip going to the gym and he's going to skip class so we can have lunch together.

- My friend, JW-F, will be flying into town late tonight. I haven't seen her since we graduated. It'll be nice to catch up and such. (If you ever wonder who these people are, they're generally listed in the panel on the right of this blog if they're "recurrent characters" in my life.)

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

No Respite

Argh, another week. I would post the whole "10 things about me" deal that other bloggers such as AJ, Matt, Razz, E, and James have done, but I've already have a post dedicated to this kind of thing. So, I'm not going to add to that list tonight. I would, however, like to give a shout-out to Matt at Brass Matt, AJ's boyfriend's blog. Seems like a really cool guy, go over and say hi.

Now, a couple positive highlights first . . .

- My youngest brother, KC-M, got into the College of Engineering here! I expected nothing less. Now let's see if he can get into "better" engineering schools like MIT or CalTech. I wonder if he even applied to those places . . .

- My friend, SA-F, got into nursing school! I haven't seen her practically since we both graduated from high school together. I only talk to her online a few times a year because she rarely signs on. She's going to be paying me a visit some time in early December before she moves miles and miles away for nursing school. I'm SO proud of her. :D

- I made my first chicken potpie/chicken broccoli bake. Chicken broccoli bake was one of the few things in the dorms that I actually looked forward to eating, it was sooo yummy (and probably quite bad for me, hence why I magically lost 20 lbs in a year after I stopped eating dorm food). It actually turned out pretty well. It was cooked just right, it was edible, it looked yummy . . . the only problem was that it was a bit bland. Hmm, maybe I really should've used cream of chicken soup rather than low-sodium chicken broth. Oh well, got to go with what I've got (which also happens to be healthier).
Now for the negatives.

- It's cold. It was about 50-55 degrees F during the middle of last week. It's in the low 30s/upper 20s this week. It's freezing (literally)!! It snowed all day yesterday and I made the unfortunate decision to leave my apartment to go to the library to study. And so the annual ice age begins around here . . . brrr. I swear I live in a global warming-proof state (there is actually some scientific data to support this, to a point).

- My window doesn't have a very good seal where the latch is. It's gotten cold enough to the point where condensation has formed on the inside of the windows. I live in the freezing Midwest for crying out loud! It wastes A LOT of heat and energy if cold air is going to leak in and hot air is going to leak out all winter. So I sealed it up with this plastic insulation thing. Now there's an air bubble where the cold air wants to get in but can't. I wish apartment complexes would invest in energy-saving technologies so they didn't have to jack up the rent every year. Sigh.

- I saw 2 ants in my bathroom. They have no business being there or anywhere else in my apartment. Ants must die, when I find them again.

- My bathtub periodically clogs. It sucks. I keep forgetting to pour Drain-O or a similar substance down the drain to clear it. Consequently, I shower while standing ankle deep in water that's not draining away. Note to self: remember to un-clog bathtub drain.

- I seemed to have developed a cold, again, only about 6 days after I had just gotten over a cold. I should not be getting sick so soon after just being sick. This is suspicious. And being the recovering Type A pre-med I used to be, I've come up with several possible scenarios ranging from the most plausible (like, 99%) to the least plausible (of which they all total about 1% in my mind).

The most plausible biological explanation is thus. I've been stressed, tired, and sleep-deprived all of last week. Consequently, my adrenal glands pump out cortisol to help me maintain homeostasis and cope with the stress. Cortisol also causes a person to go into a fat-storing phenotype, and thus causes people to crave fatty comfort foods. That explains why I've been craving to eat out all last week (I didn't eat out, because it was rainy and cold). Cortisol also, over long periods of time, causes a weakening of the immune system. With this weakened immune system and the many other sick people around me, it's totally plausible that this is the precise mechanism by which I've become sick so soon after just recovering.

I would go over the less plausible explanations that haunt and plague my thoughts, but they're pretty ridiculous in retrospect because of the low-risk I've put myself in (low-risk doesn't, however, mean no risk). The possibility of a worse scenario is very very slim, so I'm trying not to dwell on it.

Edit: Some may misinterpret this last part of my post, if one's been particularly keen and sharp. Let me point out examples that could fall under the "least plausible" category. There is the possibility of me getting the flu, as this is flu season and I didn't get a flu shot. A flu could kill me by initiating a cytokine storm - aka, my immune system goes into overdrive and kills me in the process. Another somewhat more likely, though still not too plausible, would be mold or some toxicant in my apartment. I have noticed that I feel significantly better when I'm not sitting in my apartment for extended periods of time. I cough less, my throat hurts less, etc.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Day 2: Long Goodbye

Day 2 will follow a similar style as Day 1. In some ways, Day 2 was much better.

So after we parted ways the night of Day 1, I went to a friend's apartment and attempted to study for my pathophysiology exam this Monday. I didn't realize how exhausted I was and I was falling asleep all over my notes. It wasn't even midnight yet! So I just went home and crashed.

When I woke up the next morning (before my alarm, annoyingly enough) I felt oddly serene. I really shouldn't have, as I had an exam the following day that I was simply not yet prepared for. But I woke up, went about my morning slowly, doing laundry and such. Just a sense of peace. I hadn't felt that way in a long time.

I get an IM from him around mid-day. He didn't want to attend the last thing he should've, so he was going to ditch it and visit me and say goodbye. Half an hour later he arrived at my apartment. I let him in, he sat in my only chair in my living room, lol. I took out my cello, tuned it, and just played it for a bit. It's been a long time since I played my cello, longer still since I've played it in front of anyone. I was really just fooling around and played a few excerpts I somehow still had memorized in my head, then I played some of the melodies I had begun to compose but no one had yet heard in person (at least, until now).

Just as I was packing up, my roommate returned. He picked something up and left almost as soon. After my roommate left, we walked over to my small round kitchen table and sat kind of opposite from each other. My right leg was in between his, and he rested his hands on my knees, slowly rubbing them. We talked for a while, about what I couldn't quite remember. I remember remarking how I really had to study and all, repeatedly.

His hands slowly worked their way up towards my crotch, and as they did, I got harder and harder. We got closer and closer. He rested his hand on my hard-on and stroked through my jeans a bit. Well fuck, I had to get rid of my hard-on now, otherwise it'd bother me for hours (which would really put a dent in my studying). I tacitly agreed to let him unbuckle my belt and undo my jeans.

He extracted my dick from the fly of my boxers. He gave a few strokes up and down, then brushed against the tip of my foreskin like the night before. And like the night before, it elicited a similarly amazing response. He pulled it back and rubbed the head bare a bit, which was a little more intense. I hardly moan at all, but I was moaning the night before and right then.

Quick tangent: I realize that I seem to talk about my foreskin a lot in the last post and here, haha. It's just that, that's where the best feelings seem to be for me. I realize some (many) of the readers here probably can't relate because they're lacking that part of their anatomy. Well, I apologize but bear with me.

He came closer, brought his chair so it was beside mine. He put one arm around me and felt me up and down under my T-shirt, while jacking me with his other hand. He gave me small kisses on my neck and ears. I then showed him something I like to do: with one finger (index finger) on the head, and then with 2 fingers, bring the foreskin up over that finger and just rub the foreskin about a bit. That felt sooo amazing, way more so than when I do that to myself. Of course I was leaking pre-cum a bit now, which again, I almost never do. He seemed to have fun playing with my foreskin. It was kind of like a toy I've had for a long time and enjoyed, but never knew how much fun it would be to share with another person.

He put his head on my shoulders, I put my head on his and closed my eyes. I took over jacking myself while he continued to just run his hands over my body and hugging me alternatively. I see his lotion (that he left at my place the night before) so I took a bit and applied it to my dick. I rarely use lube of any kind, because it's messy (and I hate dealing with that) and it tends to make me so sensitive that I cum much faster than I would otherwise. I jack myself for a bit, but wasn't even getting remotely close to orgasm however great it felt.

He took over again as my arm tired. I ran my hands up and down his arms, his legs. I put my face to his head, feeling his hair on my cheeks. I tell him to stroke just the head a bit and leave my foreskin back. With the bit of lotion as lube, it felt really sensitive and good. But I still wasn't even close to orgasm. I took over and went rather fast, still to no avail, haha. He moved his head close to give me a bj, but I wasn't feeling up to that because I didn't want to shower in the middle of the day, lol. So he brought his head back up and against mine.

I then give up, stuff my hard-on back into my jeans, and zip up. I really needed to study, lol.

He had to leave soon to catch the bus back to campus, and he had already been over for about an hour and a half already. At the door we hugged. Usually when I hug someone I feel awkward for some reason, like I don't want to get too close or like I'm not sure how. This was different, this was the first hug I gave in a long time that was totally uninhibited, totally honest, and totally not awkward. It was as sincere as it possibly could've been. He bent down to kiss me and this time, our kiss actually felt like it could've been a real kiss, lol. We kind of hesitated at the kiss - like we wanted more, but at the same time didn't. We hugged tighter for a good minute, and I felt his heart beat fast. I'm sure we could've stood there hugging for a good another minute or two.

Before he left, I gave him a gift - a reminder that there is hope in the world, that someone will always care.
As you can see, those are tiny origami cranes made from Starburst wrappers and stored in a film canister. Each one takes about 5 minutes for me to make and there were 100 cranes in the film canister I gave him. In the second picture, the crane is right next to the piece of the Starburst wrapper it's made from. The story goes that the paper crane is a symbol of hope and good luck, and if one makes 1000 of them, he/she will get one wish.

So again, I gave him that gift as a sign of hope - hope for life, hope for better days; and as a symbol that there will be someone wishing him well.

About half an hour after he left, my hard-on still hadn't quite abated. So I did jack off, and even alone it took a bit of effort to orgasm but it was well worth it. I shot clear of the tissue I was attempting to use to contain it, and I had to wipe it off my carpet before it dried and stained, lol.

When I went to the library later that night, I kept smiling and chuckling softly at the most random things - at the music I was listening to, at renal failure (which I was studying), at hormones - it was all kind of bizarre for me.

Now I'm really curious about something concerning you, the readers (however many of you are out there). Look to the poll I've created somewhere in the right column of the blog and answer honestly and only once. Thanks.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Day 1: Heart over Mind

Okay, the post people have been waiting for. And yes, day 1. ;-)

And thanks to Steevo and AJ for their encouragement and totally unsubtle nudging along. Some of you may know who I hooked up with, but if you do, don't ruin it for everyone else! Let each person put two and two together. So it seems most people voted for the "omg too detailed" or similar category, but a couple did ask for just the "prude details." Maybe there's a way to satisfy both. But plenty detailed it'll be. You all have no idea at the consequences you've wrought, lol. This is going to be a LONG post.

Anyway, I've been talking to the person I hooked up with online for several months, since July or so. He doesn't live in the area and I don't have the means to travel to him. But this weekend he was in town, and so we agreed ahead of time to meet up, at the very least for dinner. So I took a shower about an hour before heading down to campus. I had shaved above and trimmed below the night before, so things were in order.

Now, if you pick up nothing else from my writing, it's that I tend to overthink. I think too much and I come up with several different scenarios for a single event as well as several possible excuses. For example: Will I get too excited and cum too quickly? Does he have an STD that he neglected to tell me (unlikely, but still a passing thought)? What're the chances of getting x, y, or z? What if I give him my cold that I'm just getting over? What if it's awkward? What if I'm uncomfortable? What if . . . what if . . . the "what if's" go on and on. I had to stop thinking with my head, and let my heart lead. Easier said that done for me.

I get to campus around 5pm. I meet up with him inside one of the university buildings (it was cold outside) and we went on a short tour of some of the immediate campus surroundings. After a brief discussion we settled on sushi for dinner. Sushi, as always, was delicious. He particularly like the oonagi (eel). We talked about grad school, life, things of that nature throughout dinner. It helped me relax a bit. I keep failing to remember exactly how expensive sushi is. We didn't eat that much, but our bill came out to be about $50, which we split pretty much 50/50.

Then we walk a bit to the bus stop back to my apartment. I point out some of the nicer buildings along the way. I swear, the temperature dropped like 10 degrees within 2 hours. I was on the verge of freezing. We get on the bus and take the 20-minute ride or so to a stop about 10 minutes away from my apartment. We get there, and my roommate was home! Grrr!! But then, almost as if something answered our prayers, my roommate left to go to a friend's place for a bit.

We worked our way to my bedroom. He sat on the far edge of my bed, his back against the wall. I sat next to him and then turned to face him. He took my hand and commented on how tense I felt. While I wasn't consciously nervous, I guess I must've been so physically. I had to force myself to relax and just "go with the flow" (thanks AJ). He took my hand and put it on his face, on his chest, over his heart. I then turn around and lay down into his chest as he held me, with my hands rubbing his thighs and knees through his jeans.

Okay, this part starts to get graphic. The prude version is that he touches me, I touch him, we get undressed, we give each other oral sex, we attempt to kiss, we finish each other off, then we shower together. Skip this upcoming section if you just want the "prude details."

He then starts to put his hands under my shirt and rub my stomach, and over the neck part of my shirt and rubs my chest. I'm a very ticklish person, so it all tickled at first. There's a fine line between feeling good and tickling. At this point I started "melting." You know how people say how passion is like sparks and electricity? Well, that wasn't how I felt. Most of the time I feel like either a very concentrated and carefully controlled ball of energy, or a spiky and excited burst of energy. But at this moment, I was feeling different, like slow-moving wave in the ocean-tide or something. So steady, sensual. And I was hard.

He lifted up my shirt a bit to rub more of my stomach. All this time I was rubbing his legs through his jeans or running my hands up and down his arms, following where they went. All the while he kept complimenting me on my body, which is by no means anywhere near impressive by any standard. Not sure exactly what he saw in it, but I was glad he put up and pushed through my (many) insecurities.

I suggested that he go a bit further down, so he then unbuckled my belt, unbuttoned and unzipped my jeans. He hovered his arms over my hard-on in my underwear (dark grey boxer-briefs, for anyone's who cares). I both hate and love being teased. He then put his hand in my underwear, grabbed my dick, and gave a little squeeze. Again, not particularly impressive down there. As he pulled his hand out, he felt the tip of my foreskin with his fingers and, according to his account, it looked like I was about to jump out of my skin (a priceless look on my face, says he). It was something I've never felt before, and it felt so good. He went back in briefly to poke around the head of my dick, which also yielded similar responses. I also leaked pre-cum like crazy, which I almost NEVER do.

At this point, I decided I tease him a bit. So I sat up and closer to him, pressing myself against his groin. I could feel his hard-on through his jeans, pulsing ever so slightly. He returned to just feeling me up. I lay with my head on his chest, just feeling really relaxed and comfortable. He had me take off my shirt. I turn to my side so I can unbuckle his belt and unzip his jeans. I then extracted his dick and "examined" it. I had never touched another guy's dick before, so this was all new. On top of that, he's cut (unsurprisingly) unlike me and I didn't know how to handle this model. I gave a few squeezes, rubbed in circles on the underside of the head, tried to give a couple strokes. There was very little slack, so that didn't work so well. I guess I had it real easy in this respect and never quite appreciated that fact.

All this while, I had my blinds closed but the door to my room was left open. Well, if my roommate came home suddenly, we were certainly in a compromised situation. So I got up to close my door as he took his shirt off. I come back and he slowly slides my jeans down, the tent in my underwear quite apparent. He slides those off too, and my dick gives a little bounce back. He gets up and removes his jeans and smiley face boxers.

I take his dick again and give it a squeeze and another attempt at stroking, haha. We stood there, one leg kneeling on my bed. And we just hugged real close, feeling each other's naked bodies, grinding a little. I then tried doing something "interesting." I took my dick and lined it up with his, then I rolled my foreskin forward so it covered his back. I was mildly surprised I even had enough skin to do this, but it was kind of fun stroking both of us with my foreskin, haha. It was actually a little awkward as he's quite a bit taller than me.

He then gently, playfully, knocks me onto my bed. He grabs my dick, gives it a few strokes, and starts to suck on it. My first bj! And it was a new sensation for me, not quite what I was expecting (not that I really knew what to expect). He does this for a while, then moves upward. We attempt to kiss. I say attempt because we both sucked miserably at it as neither of us had ever kissed anyone before. It was so awkward it was cute, haha. He moves back down and continues giving me a bj, varying it a bit with how he did it and stroking with his hand. With his other hand, he took mine and placed it on his head so I could stroke my hands through his head. It felt so good. We were going so slowly - it was so relaxing and sensual. I had my eyes closed most of the time, just enjoying the sensation of touch that had been so lacking in my life. My hips must've bucked a few times.

While this all felt sooo good, I couldn't cum and I really wanted to. So with one hand I just took hold of my foreskin and kept it skinned back, as the inside's usually oh so sensitive. Surely a bj on that area would get me off. No, haha. Good it indeed felt, but I couldn't get off. I felt just a little bit bad, because it must've been tiring for him. So I took over and stroked myself, pretty fast. That wasn't working. I kept going until my arm hurt, switched to the other until it hurt, then back.

Suddenly I was on the verge of cumming, and I told him so. He moved my hand out of the way, took my dick and put it in his mouth. I came in his mouth and it felt so good as I felt every bit come out of me. Even after I had finished he kept me in his mouth, trying to suck me as I got super-sensitive, as most guys do after they cum I imagine. It was a little agonizing, like I didn't want it to stop, but I really did because I got so sensitive, but really I didn't. He did back off, and what bit of my cum he didn't swallow he let drip on my leg. I wipe up, then pushed him onto my bed.

It was kind of funny as he reclined and hit his head on my wall I decided it was only fair for me to return the favor. I took his dick, looked at it for a moment, then went down on him. My first time giving a guy a bj! I'm glad he wasn't much bigger than he was - 2 more inches and I would've gagged for sure. I tried my best, going up and down. I hope I wasn't too bad, but I'm sure he would've let me know if I was terrible. Also, he was running his hands through my hair, so how bad could I've been? My jaws got a little tired, so I jacked him off for a little while. My saliva didn't seem to last too long and before long it got too dry to wank, so more bj! After a several minutes of this he was getting close and my jaws were getting sore.

I stroke him a little bit longer, then I ask him to take over. I hand him the lotion he kept in the pocket of his jeans. He applied a bit and stroked. I ran my hands up and down his stomach and legs, holding and rubbing his balls a bit in the process. Within 30 seconds or so he blew his load . . . all over the place! On his stomach, on his chest, on his shoulders, and on my wall!! After he had finished, I took my cum rag and tried to wipe up the stuff off the wall before it dried and stained.

Then I opened my door a crack, poked my head out to see if it was clear, then made my way to the bathroom. He soon followed. We both got in the shower together and soaped up each other's back and such. After we dried and got dressed, I got really hungry, haha. All this took almost 2 hours.

I put on my pea coat and grabbed an umbrella, as it was drizzling outside. We make our way to the bus stop and get back to campus. We first stop by a bubble tea place to get bubble tea (for those who don't know, bubble tea is either green tea or milk tea with different flavors and tapioca "bubbles" at the bottom - it's an Asian thing). Then we walk down the street and I buy us a nutella crepe to share. We talk a bit more - about life, about the internet, about webcomics, etc.

Since he didn't know the area, I walk him most of the way back to where he was staying near campus. He held my arm for part of the way as I held the umbrella. That was cute. We get to a corner where we were going to go our separate ways. He bent down to give me a peck on the cheek. We hug under my umbrella for a little while, then said our good nights and goodbyes.

Stay tuned for day 2. ;-P

This song, "Pocketful of Sunshine" by Natasha Bedingfield, was how I felt the remainder of the night and into the next day. The music vid, which couldn't be embedded, can be found here.

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Hey, I Hooked Up

Hey, I hooked up tonight!

I would post more details, but I'm dead tired, so this post is just a tease (I know, you all hate me now right?). To let you all know how ridiculously busy I'll be for this coming week, here's a sample of my schedule of the week:

Monday: Pathophysiology exam. I also have to get my GSI (grad student instructor) contract. I'll be teaching a class next semester!! I don't know for what undergrad course until I get my contract, but I'm really excited.

Tuesday: Epidemiology homework due. It takes 2-3 hours to do.

Wednesday: Genetics homework due. Probably also takes 2-3 hours to do.

Thursday: A group paper and a presentation/discussion thing.

The rest of the time, I have loads of research. But of course that's not what's interesting. What's interesting is the hook up I'm not talking about in this post, lol (still hating me?).

Comment and let me know how much, um, detail you want me to go into when I do blog about it in a few days when the dusts of academia clear a bit for me. Your choices are: prudely detailed, moderately detailed, quite detailed, pretty detailed, play-by-play detailed, and omg-too-detailed.

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Two Things

First. Today I went to social get-together of sorts with people in my public health genetics inter-departmental concentration (PHGIC). It was just a smallish group of us students and some faculty. The chair of the epidemiology department, one of my professors and director of this PHGIC, was present. So was SB-M, who I've mentioned on here a few times as the hottest (and youngest - I think) administrator at the school of public health. I think he's only about 25-years-old or so.

Anyway, it was nice to sit with the chair of my department (let's call her Dr. K) and talk to her as a person, not as an authority figure to be worshiped like God. Of all the professors I've had the privilege of speaking to personally, she's definitely the most down-to-earth and she has an amazing laugh. She laughs a lot. She's like Santa Claus's wife, no joke. Everyone seems to look up to her, and I mean everyone. Well, except maybe her 14-year-old son, but that's just him being a teen. :P

Somehow (unsurprisingly) the topic of careers popped up. And she was saying how she was building a career when her partner wanted to start a family. Partner? Huh? Actually, I had suspected this before when SBK-F (the person who guest spoke on appealing to theological values to get people to agree - see this post) came in to ask for car keys, and Dr. K said SBK-F was her partner in passing.

So it hit me. Here is a person who is well-respected, is well-liked, with a great reputation, a great personality, an amazing laugh and sense of humor, chair of the department, etc. And she's bi/lesbian. And no one cares. And it doesn't even matter. Now that's pretty cool. It just makes me sad that my state denies her and many others partner benefits because same-sex marriage is illegal in my state. She, and no one else, deserves to be denied rights.
Second. This is completely unrelated, and might be boring. Anyway, I've tried. I've tried to lose weight, made some great progress in the last 3 years, but now I seem to have plateaued - reached a steady-state. I envy and hate people who have the metabolism of a hummingbird, whereas mine is closer to that of a bear nearing hibernation. I don't eat that much throughout the day except for dinner (generally), and I exercise 3-4 times a week for about an hour at a time.

So I'm going to put myself on a limb and post my workout routine here (please don't laugh at my incompetence). Here's my current 1-hour exercise schedule (note, I don't know the names of most of the machines as I'm not a gym buff, so pardon my use of the motion I'm using for the machines):

- Stretch (3-5 min)
- Run 1 mi on the track (7-9 min)
- Walk 1/4 mi on the track (3-4 min)
- chest/shoulders ("standard" bench press) - 115 lbs, 2 sets of 8 reps
- chest/shoulders/back (pull down machine) - 110 lbs, 2 sets of 10 reps
- Run 2 mi on the Elliptical machine (15 min)
- abs (abs machine) - 80 lbs, 4 sets of 10 reps
- bicep (bicep curl machine) - 90 lbs, 2 sets of 10 reps
- triceps/chest/back(?) (push down machine) - 125 lbs, 2 sets of 10 reps

Tonight I asked my friend what I should do to make my 1-hour exercise schedule more effective at helping me lose weight. I'm not sure I can survive/maintain what he wants me to do. He also wants me to eat more, which is difficult considering I have very little time for breakfast and lunch. So I want additional input. Remember, I only have about 1 hour to exercise between classes (I actually have 1.5 hours break between class every day, but I need to include travel and changing time).

So does anyone have any good suggestions/modifications to my routine (or simple & quick food suggestions), before I attempt my friend's regimen? I'd like to lose about 20-25 lbs by February or so. Though, if it takes me until the end of April, that'll be fine too.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Election Wrap-up

I spent the evening watching the election last night, and consequently got no work done. Oh well. As people may (or may not) have noticed, I try to keep politics out of this blog because I don't much like politics. So just a few things:

1. I'm glad Obama won. I hope he'll be able to deliver the change he promises and the change that we so need as a country after 8 years of Bush. I have no doubt he'll be a competent and capable president, but I feel just a little bad as he's charged with cleaning up all that Bush messed up.

2. McCain is a great and respectable man. There was a time (at the very beginning of the campaign) that I might've considered voting for him. The closer it got to election time, the more that evaporated. Yet, he exhibited dignity and grace in his speech accepting his loss in the election.

3. California, we've been watching your Prop 8 here. Of all the states with that initiative on the ballot, we never expected it to turn out so close with "Yes on Prop 8" slightly ahead. Last I checked, not all the precincts were in, so there's still hope that "No on Prop 8" will win the day. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you. If for no other reason to support "No on Prop 8," it's that if Prop 8 passes, it'd be a clear violation in my mind of the Separation of Church and State. And I hold that concept pretty sacred.

4. I am ecstatic to say that Prop 2 in my state passed (barely), which means "looser" restrictions on embryonic stem cell research. Prop 2 is actually a very specific and detailed proposition that has many limits on obtaining embryonic stem cells (see my past post here for more). So "looser" really means "at all" and with all the attendant restrictions at the state and federal levels.

Now, to go research for my term paper on pre-implantation genetic diagnosis (aka, embryo screening). And to study for my pathophysiology exam next Monday. I do love that class, lol.

Sunday, November 2, 2008

I went Clubbing!

Okay, so this is a pseudo-tipsy post. I really should be full-blown drunk now, seeing as I had 5 shots of vodka, a long island, an apple martini, and a kamikaze (and maybe 1 more drink . . .), but I'm only mildly tipsy. Might be from all the dancing. Though I am partly deaf from the loud music - I hope/sure it's temporary.

Anyway, today. I went to lunch with SR-F and RZ-F for lunch at a local Indian restaurant that had a buffet-style lunch. I ate too much. Then SR-F, RZ-F, CM-F, and I watched the movie The Changeling. It was a really good movie, definitely worth a watch. Unfortunately it was a really sad movie and I can pretty much only watch it once in my life.

When we finished the movie, we went back to SR-F's apartment briefly. SR-F got ready for orchestra rehearsal whereas RZ-F, CM-F, and I went to pick up SM-M, an Indian friend of RZ-F's. People call him "Surge" so I'll call him that here. The 4 of us went to Olive Garden for dinner where we waited for over an hour to get seated. I got so full so quickly as I was still full from lunch. So I have the majority of my entree boxed.

After that the 4 of us went back to our separate apartments to change and just rest for an hour. I really didn't want to go, as my stomach was still so damn full. But RZ-F convinced me to go. At about 10pm we went to Surge's apartment to drink before going to club. I had my 5 shots of vodka there. If I weren't so full from lunch and dinner I might've drank more. Then we went to a local club. I hadn't been to a club since my freshman year of college. I didn't like it much then because, while I like salsa music, I can't keep up with it and my friend (partner) wasn't on the beat. She wasn't even sycopating! Yeah, I'm a music person so I must somehow find the beat and keep to it. It just didn't work then.

Anyway, we went to the club. I didn't expect to like it. I actually had quite a bit of fun, as evident by my smile pretty much the entire duration of the 3+ or so hours on the dance floor. I danced only with CM-F, which although I would've liked to dance with RZ-F at least once, I wasn't disappointed in. For the record, I had no idea what I was doing. So I just let CM-F take the lead. So there were 4 of us - 2 girls and 2 guys - CM-F and RZ-F, and Surge and I. The club wasn't very crowded, which was good (for me). We got our other drinks there. I didn't actually know I was tipsy until I left at what would've been close to 3am if not for daylight saving's time.

CM-F and RZ-F had to pee a lot, lol. Silly women and their smaller bladders. But it was fun. I figured out pretty quickly how to follow CM-F as she was dancing and just tried to keep up with her. At least she could feel the beat. I was pretty close (physically) to her the entire night - I haven't touched a person that closely in a LONG time (or maybe ever). She ran her hands through my hair a few times and put her hand on my chest every now and then - note, those felt really good. After a while, the way she was dancing and grinding me almost gave me a hard-on, so I had to fight that for a few minutes. That would've been awkward, particularly in the jeans I was wearing. Thankfully the alcohol also helped to suppress my hard-on a bit too.

So for my "first time" I was told I was pretty good. Not sure how much of that I trust, but I'll take the compliment for now. :D Note, it was really good to hold/feel a person that close and just feel them move against you. Despite the fact that CM-F has a boyfriend that she's been going out with since I've know her (which is at least 4 years now). It was still a good experience and I didn't feel like a complete retard while dancing. But maybe that's the alcohol talking.

Saturday, November 1, 2008

Happy Halloween!

So I realize it's about 2 hours past Halloween for me here, but that's okay. This would've been a drunk post had I actually been of constitution to down alcohol tonight. As it is, I have a cold and am exhausted, so I'll try to keep this short.

In short, this week sucked. My two exams went okay, though the exam questions for my 2-credit class were far more difficult than what should've been for a 2-credit class. My left eye had this tendency to go out-of-focus every now and then throughout the week, not sure why. I've been lightheaded all week, not entirely sure why. Been feeling really down for about half the week. And now I've a cold so the back of my throat's a little sore. As a result of all this, only went to the gym once so now I feel like I gained 5-10 lbs and feel quite bloated (probably not true). At least my Western blot worked - I would've been really pissed if it hadn't because that experiment takes 7-8 hours to do.

Today was fun though. RZ-F is visiting for the weekend and is staying with SR-F. It was good seeing her, a bit nostalgic. And yet, every time I see her, I wonder what might've been between us. Sigh.

Her old roommate, CM-F, who's a med student here now, stopped by. The three of us (SR-F doesn't drink and doesn't like to party like that) went out. We stopped by a med school frat first. It was alright. My first time doing jello shots. They were weak. Med students (::rolls eyes:: lol). But there were tons of people in constumes there. One Asian guy was dressed up as a native American Indian, so he obviously had no shirt on. Wow, so lean and hot. It's now my goal to lose weight and get nice abs so I can dress up as something shirtless next Halloween. Halloween's been really nice and warm this year. Usually it's cold and drizzling around here.

We then went to a bar. En route I found a $20 bill on the ground. We used it to pay for almost all of what we got at the bar, haha. No one drank much because we ordered food - it was more food than we thought. If I had drank any more I would've thrown up, not from being drunk, but from being too full. More hot guys about. Some slutty and really attractive women about too. Usually not attracted to people that dress up as sluts, but some of them . . .

Apparently I'm considered an Mo.5, lol (1st year med students are M1's, 2nd years are M2's, and so on, so I'm an Mo.5 or M-half). On the way back to SR-F's apartment, RZ-F was complaining about there being a "dying breed" of nice guys in the world and generally hinting heavily at her guy problems. If only she could see what's in front of her sometimes.